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Marneyd's Cancer Blog

The Enemy Within

Well, we're back on the roller coaster. Things had been quiet for a while. Almost 10 years with no recurrence of breast cancer #1, almost 5 years with no sign of the return of the leiomyosarcoma, getting on for three years since breast cancer #2. A scan showed up a tiny speck on a lung - "probably scarring from the surgery" - another scan showed it still there, maybe a milimetre larger - "so slow growing it's not really worth worrying about - yet" - the next showed it still there, and a little something in the liver ... "probably haemangioma, we'll keep an eye on it" ... and August's scan showed, no, it wasn't just haemangioma, it's cancerous, and it has a friend.

On the upside, 10 years on from the first time, I'm still here. I'm in the hands of one of the best cancer teams in the country. My family are wonderful. There are options, and if the first line options don't work, there are drug trials.

On the downside, for the first time in this whole sorry saga, I find myself thinking "why me?". It's never crossed my mind before. It's not like me to be feeling sorry for myself. Stephen and I have just celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary (ironically, he was the one in hospital for it this time - suffering with kidney stones) - I think we'd convinced ourselves that we were out of the woods and we could finally get on with our marriage without cancer centre stage.

So. One day at a time. The next planned hospital landmarks are an MRI in November to check on what's happening, a consultation in December, to plan ahead, and if need be, a biopsy in January. Before that we need to get Stephen through his surgery (early October). Before that I need to kick this low mood into touch. Time for some serious painting, I think.


3 people sent you a prayer.
Marcia, Marcia sent you a hug.
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Oh Marney, I hate that you have to go through this again. I haven't gone through the why me thing cuz it runs in the family, I go through the Is it gonna come back? I'm glad to see you are an artist, me, too! Great therapy, so is crocheting - I make hats, scarfs, wrist warmers and afghans for the homeless. Just a thought.... when I went through chemo I dressed in costumes for each session., made me feel cool and everyone else enjoyed it.
Blessings on your scans, etc. And you said it right, "there's options", and there continues to be even newer ones. Don't be down too long, just a little bit. Then, onward, right? ♥
I am sorry you have to go through this again. I had a few why me moments also. Give yourself a moment then fight with all you have. I'm praying for you.
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Still around ...

I know I haven't posted for a long time, but I'm still here ... had a scary start to the year - routine CT showed up 'something' on my liver, and a change in my left lung ... followed up with an MRI ... the liver thing turns out to be a benign haematoma (thank you Lord!) ... and the lung thing has added 1 millimetre to its size over 18 months. The oncology team are going to keep an eye on it - another CT in June to look forward to. There's not enough of it to biopsy, so we don't know whether it's a secondary from one of the breast cancers or from the sarcoma or something new, but at this stage they're not particularly worried about it. Anyway - the sun is shining and I'm 11 years older than I evr thought I'd be when all this started :-) life is good.

Laurie, Stacy sent you a hug.
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rollerFetching older entries....


Vital Info


January 11, 2012

Cancer Survivor

Cancer Info

Breast Cancer




The feeling that my body could be my own worst enemy

How much I value my family, how much they value me and how much strength you can dredge up from nowhere when you have to.

University Hospital of North Staffordshire

Cling to the positive.

Race for Life (Cancer Research UK) ;



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